I did not realize taking time away from writing can diminish the desire to continue… and although I have been back from vacay I was finding it difficult to start writing.
After writing the previous posts I realized how depressing my life sounds. I try to find the positive of it all, so people who read it don’t take pity on my upbringing. I am finding no luck, so I must continue discarding the bad and hoping to keep the good.
During my recent drive to our vacation spot, I found myself thinking of what to blog about next. What came to mind was how certain adults in my family thought and to this day think all I wanted to eat as a kid was sugar. This has been a subject to which I have done some internal research about, meaning auditing my memories to understand. So my g-uncle and g-aunt were farm workers and sometimes would not be home when I came home from school. At the time I was about 7 or 8 I really cannot remember. Anyhow, I am not sure why I would eat cans of corn with butter or cranberry sauce. I never really finished the cranberry, but at that age it made sense to eat canned food. There was no using the gas stove, so the corn had to be heated in the microwave. Well one day, I came up with the bright idea to start drinking coffee. So one day I grabbed a mug and went to the bathroom to use the sink there, the water must come out hotter in the bathroom!! It’s kind of funny now, but I still don’t understand why I thought that at the time. Well I proceeded to prepare myself a coffee, since I did not really like the taste I had to add sugar. Lots of sugar to cover up the taste of the coffee. I honestly did not think it was a bad idea. After some time my cups were found with sugar residue. At the time we also had grapefruit juice and I added sugar to this to make it taste better. As you all know this was not going to happen. Well my glass/mugs were found and it earned me a spanking and a reputation.
The significance of this story is much more than the sugar. The first is what is a child supposed to do when they are left alone at such a young age? I did not burn the house down, I simply used my imagination to solve an issue. The second being the reputation- to this day I still live with it. A few years ago we took a family trip to my “hometown”, during that trip I introduced my husband to my g-aunt’s daughter. The first thing she said to my husband was, “Did Yvonne tell you she liked to eat lots of sugar when she was younger?” Why is it when everyone else makes mistakes as a child it is funny and cute? But when it came to me it was something taboo! Which is why I analyze the situation. If I loved to eat sugar, why was the bottom of the mug full of sugar, would I not have consumed the entire thing? And why not ask questions about the situation. To this day, no one has ever taken an interest in the subject. It is only brought up to shame me.
Let’s forget about the fact that I was alone at 7/8 years of age, without supervision. Let’s avoid talking about the neglect of a child, who could potentially hurt themselves or be harmed by other. Which did happen, not physically for emotionally. But hey the sugar issue is much more extreme and worthy of letting people know… sad.